OK… so today I have been thinking about forgiveness and making choices… I recently was thinking about my friend DD. She is one of those amazing women who really could do just about anything that she set her mind to. For example, climbing Mt. Everest as she did. She is very tree huggery and I was ok with that…just an all around cool person. Several years ago, we were having lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant and over my wonton soup and deep fried hunks of meat and her (anything that doesn’t have a face) meal, we started talking about relationships and that sort of thing. It was apropos as she had just started to dabble in lesbianism… ok, so I really don’t know how you actually dabble in lesbianism but it just sounded like a good phrase. But regardless, she was falling in love with a woman… Cool. As the mai-tais flowed we continued on talking about being cheated on… I have been cheated on by boyfriends twice. Didn’t really like it much… the first one, I took the high road and forgave him, the second…well… lets just say, not so much (repossessed cars, $2000.00 worth of phone bills and the police were involved)… DD confessed to me that when she was married (she had been divorced for several years) she cheated on her husband and that she felt the need to confess and ask for his forgiveness. Here’s where I had an issue. I counseled that her confession to her ex-husband would do nothing but make her feel better for something that she did that was wrong. (Ok.. I say its wrong because it was not the established parameters of she and her husband’s relationship…if you are in a relationship and your rules say that you can sleep with someone else then its not really cheating but I digress…)
Her confession to her ex- husband would only serve her and make her ex upset and confused. Granted, I don’t believe in keeping secrets, but at this point, it’s not going to help him. If she had told him when it was fresh, they could have addressed it, and dealt with it however they needed. For all we know they may have been able to work through whatever issues they had and be even happily married.
I guess it comes down living with the choices that you make. You make bad choices; you deal with the consequences… you and you alone. You make good choices; you live with consequences as well,( e.g. Seeing Tom Wopat in a Broadway musical = bad choice with the consequence of a painful performance and wasting money on tickets, Seeing John Barrowman in a Broadway musical = good choice with the consequence very VERY happy dreams that night)
Things that Rock:
My $10.00 electric bill (no.. seriously)
Air conditioning
Saying, “No I can’t make it that day, I have plans with my boyfriend”
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